Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith: The Abridged Script
SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON enters IAN MCDIARMID’S CHAMBER.
SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Ian, you’re under arrest for being a manipulative motherfucker.IAN MCDIARMID
I got a threshold, Jedi. I got a threshold for the abuse I’ll take. And right now I’m a race car and you got me in the red. I’m just saying that it’s fuckin’ dangerous to have a racecar in the fuckin’ red. It could blow.SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Oh, you’re gettin’ ready to blow?IAN MCDIARMID
I could blow.SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Well I’m a mushroom-cloud-layin’ motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch my lightsaber I’m Superfly TNT. I’m the Guns of Navarone.Suddenly, IAN pulls out his LIGHTSABER. He moves toward the JEDI, pulls his arm back, aims at a Jedi, kills him, pulls his blade out, moves toward another, and slowly kills him
too, all while SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON twirls his lightsaber around pointlessly behind them. Once only SAMUEL is left, they DUEL. IAN makes silly faces and is eventually beaten. HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN arrives.SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKING JACKSON
Let me read to you from the book of Ezekiel for a–Suddenly, IAN unleashes some force lightning on SAMUEL,
which he absorbs into his lightsaber and somehow pushes back
onto IAN, which causes him to grow old, apprently.
I love this parody so much.
