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Very weird day I've had today, in which I saw four bizarre things.

Three of the things I saw in the city of Bath and one was in the Market Place of my home town of Devizes.

I got to Bath and had to post a letter before I started work and so went via the Post Office outside of which stood an ant. I say stood because this ant was over five foot tall, they never looked that big in the adverts. I think it was trying to sell credit cards as the woman behind the counter tried to sign me up for one also. Nearby to the ant was a man curled up asleep in the unused second entrance to the Post Office.

Got to work and started my unofficial role as a tourist information worker directing people in pop in to enquire where the Thermae Bath Spa is located. Fuck knows how they miss it as it is diagonally opposite the cinema and is the massive glass fronted building in a street of stone Georgian buildings and has fucking queues of tourists waiting to go in. Anyway one of these lost tourists was a Japanese Texan, he was chewing on a toothpick as he approached me and I thought that in itself was a little odd but when he opened his mouth to speak and out came this Texan accent I was kinda gobsmacked. There may well be tens of thousands of Japanese Texans I've no idea but it was a surprise to me to meet one.

The third thing I witnessed at 11pm on my way back to my car to drive home. I saw two horses on the pavement of Great Pulteney street which is a large street just outside the city centre. They had no saddles or bridles and with them was an elderly couple and a small group of about 5 teenagers. As I got closer I noticed a police car but no sign of any police officers. It looked like the horses had escaped from somewhere but I can't think where, perhaps they got out of a horse box and ran off from their owners.

Then finally driving through the Market Place of Devizes I saw a bloke stumbling drunkenly along the pavement with a bag of chips, the weird thing is that this guy looked exactly like Sloth from The Goonies.

Labels: humour

The Montgomery Advertiser reports that gigantic Yellowjacket nests have started to appear across the southern two-thirds of the US state of Alabama.

Specialists say it could be the result of a mild winter and drought conditions, or multiple queens forcing worker yellow jackets to enlarge their quarters so the queens will be in separate areas. But experts haven't determined exactly what's behind the surprisingly large nests.

Auburn University entomologists, who say they've never seen the nests so large, have been fielding calls about the huge nests from property owners from Dothan up to Sylacauga and over into west-central Alabama's Black Belt.

One of the larger nests to have been discovered is one that has engulfed the interior of an abandoned 1955 Chevrolet.



It's like the start of an awful B-Movie come to life in which animals act outside of their usual behaviour and become a threat to humans. Where's Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?

Photographing Squirrels

Real wild Squirrels with real vintage cameras.
No computer editing on any of the shots.

Bizarre but fantastic.

Barley Squirrel Lines Up A Shot
Originally uploaded by SQUIRREL400.

Labels: humour

I am the only drunken Pirate seeking office in this great nation.

Labels: humour

"Weird Al" Yankovic amazingly catchy new tune about file-sharing is titled Don't download this song

It doesn't matter if you're a grandma
Or a seven year old girl
They'll treat you like the evil hard-bitten scum that you are.

See the video at Yahoo music or download the song. *wry smile*

Labels: Computer security

Unless like this man from Uttar Pradesh you wish to enjoy your honeymoon.

And of course there is a Wikipedia article about this man's rare condition.

Labels: humour

The ever-changing accent of Peter Sellers as he travels round London and the British Isles transitioning from one to another. [via]

Labels: humour, movies

Welsh cyclists were left confused by a bilingual road sign telling them they had problems with an inflamed bladder.

The "cyclists dismount" sign between Penarth and Cardiff became "llid y bledren dymchwelyd" in Welsh - literally "bladder inflammation upset" (or tip or overturn).

The Vale of Glamorgan Council said new signs were being made.

It is possible that an online translation led to confusion between cyclists and cystitis.

Was there no Welsh speakers at all in the department that created the sign?

I'm glad that there wasn't as it does make for a very funny story.

Labels: humour

Things you might not know about Bruce Schneier

Via Mr Schneier himself.

Labels: Computer security, cryptography, humour

Zombie Letters from e-zombie.com

England have made a fine start under new boss Steve McClaren with a comfortable win over Greece by four goals to nil.

The Chelsea player John Terry made an auspicious start to his tenure as England captain by scoring the opening goal.

Labels: Sport

BBC News reports that the police investigating an alleged bomb plot targeting UK to US flights have been given extra time to question 23 of the suspects.

The time police can hold 23 of the 24 suspects expired on Wednesday and a district judge had to decide whether to grant detectives an extension.

Warrants given to the Metropolitan Police Anti-Terrorist Branch allow them to question 21 people until 23 August.

Another two of those held can be detained until 21 August.

The maximum period that someone suspected of terrorist activity can be held without charge is now 28 days following the extension in the 2006 Terrorism Act.

This is the extension that the Home Office said was vital to the security of the country and it's ability to counter the threat posed by international terrorism. The extension that was actually a compromise between the former period of 14 days and the 90 day period that the Home Office and police wanted.

Curiously the 28 days detention without charge part of the 2006 Terrorism Act was not commenced when the rest of the act was in April but was actually only commenced as of July 25th 2006.

Odd that the extension to the detention without charge period that was so vital to our security that the powers weren't gievn to the police until just a few weeks ago.

Labels: Security, Terrorism

It's very silly and hugely inaccurate but I do love the movie Shanghai Knights.

I find the bit where Lin kills Jack the Ripper very funny and Aidan Gillen as Lord Nelson Rathbone makes a very wondefully sadistic villain. It is one of my favourite Jackie Chan movies.

Labels: movies

McClaren picks inspirational Terry as captain

Steve McClaren admits he chose John Terry as the next England captain because of the inspirational qualities he has shown in leading Chelsea to two Premiership titles. "I'm certain I've got the right man in John Terry," McClaren said yesterday. "I'm convinced he will prove to be one of the best captains England has ever had."

McClaren favoured Terry over Liverpool's Steven Gerrard, who was also strongly linked with the candidacy. Though both are captains at their respective clubs, there had been a fierce internal debate among McClaren's closest confidants over who should be handed the responsibility at international level. In McClaren's opinion the qualities Terry has shown at Stamford Bridge, where he has worn the captain's armband since the age of 22, marked him out as being the most capable candidate.

Couldn't agree more, I've been wishing John Terry to be the England Captain for quite a long while now.

Labels: Sport

In an addendum to my previous post about the UK Threat Level it's good to see Home Secretary John Reid keep his tendancy for hyperbole under check. Quoting from this BBC News report.

Home Secretary John Reid said the government was "confident" the ring leaders were in custody but it was not complacent.

He said had the plot been successful, it would have meant "loss of life on an unprecedented scale".

I think the precedents of massive loss of life in our history are pretty fucking massive even if we only take a single incident rather than the wars or genocides of the last century the precedent of the dropping of an atomic bomb on Hiroshima killing instantly about 80 000 people easily outweighs any possible loss of life if this latest terrorist plot had been succesful.

Labels: politics, Security, Terrorism

At some point today unbeknownst to me the UK entered into the highest level of threat that of critical.

Oh my! How in the world could I have missed such an important event as the changing of our current threat level to its highest possible state? Whatever shall I do now?

That's the pertinent question what shall we as the public do now? No one knows because there is nothing for the public to do other than get scared.

The Threat Level System has according to the Home Office website been created to keep the public informed about the level of threat to the UK from terrorism. But it's of no practical use it's like shouting DANGER in a crowded city centre street, it can do nothing but cause confusion and fear as there is no specific advice associated with each different level of threat.

So what event has caused the threat level to be raised?

It was the arrest of 24 people by police who were suspected of a plot against UK flights to the US. The police believe they have disrupted this plot to blow up these transatlantic flights and are convinced they have detained the key players, but believe the network involved is large and global.

The plot apparently was to smuggle liquid explosives onto around ten transatlantic flights in water bottles or similarly innocuous containers. Airlines have now taken the precaution of preventing people taking anything other than the most essential pieces of hand luggage onto flights leaving the UK. The police have said that the plotters could have caused "mass murder on an unimaginable scale".

Yes they could have blown up many airliners and killed hundreds of people but for the fact that the people involved had been under surveillance for some time. We shall have to wait and see when more information is released about how far along there really were with their plot whether they were a credible threat to our security. I do not want to get caught up in the politician's gambit of who can imagine the worst scenario possible.

Security chiefs said the group believed to be planning the attack had been under surveillance for some time.

US Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said the plot was "in some respects suggestive of al-Qaeda".

"They had accumulated and assembled the capabilities that they needed and they were in the final stages of planning for execution," he said.

It had only become apparent in the "last two weeks" that the target of the flights was the US, said Mr Chertoff.

Another problem I see with having a public Threat Level System is that surely it tips the terrorists off to the fact that they might be under surveillance. If the level increases correspondingly as the terrorist group gets closer to the commission of their act of terrorism is that not an indication that the UK Security Services are onto them.

Labels: politics, Security, Surveillance, Terrorism

Mouldy bread
Originally uploaded by electricinca.

Go away for the weekend and I return home to find this in my bread bin. Damn and I was planning on having beans on toast.

Labels: photography

Labels: YouTube

Arnold Schwarzenegger has apparently offered the role of the terminator in Terminator 4 to Tony Blair!

He quipped during a press conference that if Mr. Blair was looking for work after he finishes being the British Prime Minister he'd be able to get him a job in the movies.

Blair said that he was grateful for the offer, for as his second term as PM was coming to a close, he would soon be without a job.

"Now that is definitely the best offer I've had. Actually, the sad thing is, it's the only offer I've had," Blair said.

Fundamental misunderstanding here about why he will be leaving his job though. It is not because his second term as PM is coming to a close as he is in fact into his third term. US Presidents are restricted to only two terms the Prime Minister of Britain has no such restriction.

He will in fact be leaving his job because he said he would hand over the reigns at some point during this parliament and will do so with enough time remaining that his successor has a reasonable period of time to govern so that they have a good shot at leading the party to yet another General Election victory.

The sooner the better I reckon.

Labels: politics

I read at the weekend in Empire magazine that the production of the movie adaptation of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon's classic graphic novel Watchmen is back on.

The producers clearly have a lot of respect for the material but they simply cannot have an understanding of why it works so well if they believe they can turn it into a movie.

I think it is basically unfilmable as it is impossible to capture the essence of it in any other form that that for which is was written.

They will no doubt be able to get the basic story on celluloid but what makes the comic so great will almost certainly be lost.

I was trying to explain it to my brother and it is basically that there are certain pieces in various different media that in transferring from one medium to another would lose their essence.

Un Chien Andalou for example could not possibly work as a short story.

The words of Zack Snyder director of 300 who has also been lined up to direct Watchmen give me some comfort.

I want to make this movie, it’ll be awesome to make it but I need to be convinced that it will be worth making, that we have respect for the thing. I’m going to wait and see right now – I’m the biggest sceptic!

But don’t read too much into that - the hope is to start filming next year, once the screenplay has been cracked. “I haven’t seen anything yet that makes me think that we’re any closer to it,” added Snyder. “Everyone says ‘I respect the source material’ but I think what Hollywood misses and what we need to think about is what is the book about? What does it mean? It’s easy to get caught up in the mechanics of the script and the mechanics of the movie.

I believe that it might be possible to make a wonderful adaptation of Watchmen but I have no idea how that can be accomplished and have no faith that anyone will be able accomplish it.

It would I believe require complete deconstruction of it and then for it to be utterly rebuilt from the ground up with the narrative techniques that are unique to comics replaced with some film making techniques.

Watchmen is an analysis of what it is to be a superhero but also a deconstruction of what comic books about superheroes are. Perhaps a movie version could be a deconstruction of superhero movies in some way. I'm still not convinced that we are going to get anything like that, this will probably be yet another awful adaptation of a Moore comic but there is a one in a million chance that it might be a movie masterpiece.

Labels: comics, movies

Star Trek Sings Knights of the Round Table

Labels: humour

Tom Tomorrow has produced a really excellent page of This Modern World today.



The rest of it can be read here.

Labels: comics

I discovered a new word today: Pedoscele One who does evil to children.

It has been coined by the writer Richard Hoffman who explains

I have argued elsewhere that we try to bring our language regarding the sexual abuse of children more in alignment with reality, beginning with the word pedophile.The word comes from Greek and means, literally, "one who loves children." What an Orwellian inversion. In place of the term pedophile, let me offer an alternative: pedoscele, from the Latin scelus, meaning "evil deed." Try it. Pedoscele: one who does evil to children.

It seems like a reasonable and rational neologism to me. I suppose the correct British form of it would be paedoscele though.

I read in the Times newspaper today that NORAD were to move out of their nuclear bunker facility underneath Cheyenne mountain to a more regular air force base.

Unlike most readers of the story though my first thought on hearing the news was "Well what are they going to do with the Stargate then?"

Labels: Security, TV