In honour of my dog who's poorly at the moment, I present here the theme tune to The Littlest Hobo.

There's a voice that keeps on calling me
Down the road is where I'll always be

Every stop I make, I'll make a new friend
Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

Down this road, that never seems to end,
Where new adventure, lies just around the bend.

So if you want to join me for a while
Just grab your hat, come travel light - that's hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home.

So if you want to join me for a while
Just grab your hat, come travel light
That's hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

There's a world, that's waiting to unfold,
A brand new tale, no one has ever told,

We've journey'd far but, you know it won't be long,
We're almost there and we've paid our fare, with the hobo song.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

So if you want to join me for a while
Just grab your hat, come travel light - that's hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll find what I call home
Until tomorrow, you know I'm free to roam.

Bird flu 'far deadlier than SARS'

The bird flu virus is far more lethal than the SARS virus that struck Asia last year and might unleash a pandemic that could kill many millions of people, a World Health Organization official says.

You are all going to catch bird flu and die BWA-HA-HAHA said Shigeru Omi, regional director of WHO's Western Pacific Regional Office.

If you are like me you may be facing what the experts are calling the Band Aid Dilemma, the record is dismal but it is for a good cause so what should you do?

There is however a solution on hand.

The Band Aid Dilemma....
You want this record to succeed, because you feel for the plight of the refugees in the Dharfur region of Sudan and this project is funding aid projects on their behalf. However, you hate this recording and feel your musical ego looming and refusing to be bruised.

The answer?

• Buy as many copies of Do They Know It's Christmas by Band Aid 20 as you can afford.
• Destroy them in amusing ways, on camera.
• Send us the pictures.

Charity. Violence. You know it makes sense.

Student Invents Glow-In-Dark Underwear

HOUSTON - As if a plain old thong wasn't enough to accentuate what isn't covered, a Rice University MBA student has shed some neon light on the skin with a glow-in-the-dark version.

Beau Carpenter, an avid runner who also works at NASA, initially thought of creating glow-in-the-dark jogging clothes, but practicality evaporated when thongs captured his attention during his Internet research. He enlisted Chris Harris, an electrical engineering student at Rice, and Marcus Brocato, a chemistry lab manager at the Houston private university, to develop the GloThong.

"Being guys, it didn't take us long to gravitate to them," Carpenter told the Houston Chronicle in Sunday's editions. "My co-workers find it endlessly entertaining."

The thongs have lightweight, water-resistant batteries that, when fully charged, illuminate the straps for two hours in various neon colors, including blue, pink and yellow. Wearers can use a wall adapter to charge them up, but car chargers are available for those on the go.

They were a hit when the team recently took their invention to a topless bar in Dickinson.

"The women liked the product so much that they lined up to give us their real names and cell numbers," Carpenter said.

The thong will be available for $49.95 by mid-December, but the group intends to expand their offerings to include luminescent bras and bikinis.

"We're selling attention," Carpenter said. "You kind of feel like Cinderella until the Glo runs out."

Then you run off leaving them behind and the Handsome Prince tours the Kingdom looking for the girl that fits the thong.

I see graduate students are putting their expensive education to good use, the world needs more flourescent clothing. These would make a great gift for someone this Xmas I feel.

Available on the Net: www.glothong.com

It's the last day of November and like many a young man of my generation at this time of year my mind turns to the topic of sex and pornography.

Fortunately Fleshbot is on hand to sate my thirst for obscure news stories in the world of adult entertainment.

Condensed Letters to Penthouse Forum

Blowjob for sale at Target.com but at a price of only $9.99 it will take 4-8 weeks to come.

Film boss launches Irish porn revolution

An Open Letter To Porn

DOJ to crackdown on porn in 2005?

Labels: Sex

The following was a comment made on my blog a few days ago...

The home office to issue Santa identity cards

To combat F4J Santa’s and at the same time minimise the risk of upsetting "real" Santa’s, the home office has decided to introduce official Santa Identity Cards. The cards must be worn at all times and must be clearly visible. They should be placed on the right lapel or slightly lower if beard length is a problem.

This sounds quite plausible especially given Home Secretary David Blunkett's zeal for a National Identity Card scheme, but I'm not convinced this is true.

I heard this on my car radio yesterday but as I wasn't really listening I wasn't entirely sure if I'd heard it correctly.

THE Apple iTunes music store has refused to sell the charity Band Aid song Do They Know It’s Christmas? because of a dispute over the proposed price of £1.49.

The Apple iTunes store usually sells tracks for 79p and has refused to raise the price in this instance for the charity record and the Band Aid organisers have refused to allow the price to be dropped to 79p as this will mean less money from each sale going to charity.

This seems to be a bit of a public relations disaster for Apple. I cannot see how this utter lack of charity is not going to damage Apple's carefully crafted image.

The Band Aid single is of course available at numerous other stockists.


BBC News: Stores to stock 1m Band Aid CDs
Times Online: Apple iTunes don't know it's Christmas-time at all

Apologies for the awful pun in the title, but I think I may have come down with a case of Roganitis.

I'm a Secret Santa, are you? If not why not think about becoming one.

The idea of Secret Santa is very simple - you pull a name out of a hat and buy that person a present. Your name is in the hat as well, so someone buys you a present too! Everyone gets a present! Everyone's happy!

To use Secret Santa, all you need is a wishlist* at Amazon. First you tell Santa about yourself. Then on December 10th you will be told who you're buying a gift for. And by Christmas Day, everyone has a sparkly present to open!

Santa is a member of the "Holy Sprocket Church of the Sprained Clutch" - but don't worry, you don't have to convert. You can give and receive presents to celebrate Hannukah, Kwanza, Christmas or "secret holiday gift-giving robot day"...

In yet another story of manmade materials being used to better the lives of other species.

The Hand Up Project: Attempting to Meet the New Needs of Natural Life-Forms

Many Hermit Crabs have shells which are to small for their needs and resort to using refuse if they cannot find a suitable shell. The Hand Up Project proposes to meet this need by building artificial shells and dispersing them on appropriate beaches for the crabs to find and inhabit.

"The use of plastic in manufacturing these new homes is key. This material affords the crab an almost ideal dwelling. Being much lighter than calcium carbonate, these new houses do not take as much energy to carry during locomotion. Plastic is also structurally strong, which affords large areas of internal space in the new structures. This results in the greater internal volume-to-weight ratio that the crab prefers. Of additional benefit is the longevity of this material coupled with the way these crabs recycle and share their shelters. Due to the fact that plastic is non-biodegradable, these new forms may potentially outlast the life-span of the crab itself, thereby assuring many generations access to additional hand-me-down housing."

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful girl I know.

Disabled dolphin jumping again with world's first artificial fin

TOKYO (AFP) - Fuji, a mother dolphin that lost 75 percent of her tail due to a mysterious disease, is jumping once again with the help of what is believed to be the world's first artificial fin.

The 34-year-old dolphin held at Japan's largest aquarium in the southern island of Okinawa wears the rubber fin for about 20 minutes a day allowing her to jump and to swim at the same speed of other dolphins.

"We are very grateful. Although she can swim without the artificial fin, the speed is very slow and she certainly cannot jump without it," said Masaya Kowami, a breeder at Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium.

"Visitors have told us she looks happy," he said.

I hate the idea of dolphins being kept in captivity but a story like this still warms the heart. I hope that she truly is happy with her new fin.

BBC News: Is Spanish football racist?

Well, based on the evidence of last night's match, which saw the Spanish fans directing racist abuse at Ashley Cole and Shaun Wright-Phillips my opinion would be yes. Football commentator Alan Hansen said he had two words for the Spanish crowd last night 'Absolutely Pathetic'. Not exactly the two words I had in mind, I think Gary Lineker put it better when he described it as 'Deplorable'.

English fans are by no means above reproach and there is still instances of violent behaviour when they travel abroad, but racist abuse has all but disappeared. There are still incidents of racial abuse in English league matches but they are perpetrated by a tiny minority of fans and are treated very seriously by FA officials.

The question arises what should have been done about it?

Should the English players have walked off in protest?
Should the Spanish players have walked off in protest?
Should the referee have stopped play?

Any or all of the above should have happened but didn't. A strong message does need to be sent to fans of all nationalities that racism is not at all acceptable in the game of football. There have been calls for the Spanish team to be prevented from playing in the 2006 World Cup but I think that is perhaps the wrong move, it's is very unlikely to happen anyway.

It is a widespread problem anyway and not merely confined to Spain, FIFA must take a hard stance on this issue as it is as serious a problem as violent hooliganism. One possible move would be to ban all fans of a national team from attending future matches for a set period of time or number of matches in a similar fashion to the punishment meted out to players for such offences.

This may lead to matches being played in completely empty stadia but I think the message will get through and crowds should become somewhat self-governing with those that continue to shout abuse being shouted down by their fellow fans rather than be joined in the abuse.

BoingBoing heralds the return of Futurefeedforward "the best science fiction site on the Internet." The reason for the hiatus was apparently due to the forthcoming Futurefeedforward novel an extract of which is available.

Be warned though as readers of the "BOOK" are subject to a fairly stringent END-READER LICENSE AGREEMENT.

IMPORTANT—READ CAREFULLY: This End-Reader License
Agreement ("ERLA") is a legally binding agreement between
you (the "READER") and Hamlet Monkeys Media (the
"COMPANY") concerning your licensed use of the subtended
text (the "BOOK"). By stipulation of this agreement, the BOOK
includes all material printed on pages affixed to the binding at
the time of purchase. The BOOK is also deemed to include any
marginal notations made by you or any other user, authorized or
unauthorized, and to include any and all ideas, notions, plans,
designs, or intuitions formed by you, whether or not fixed in
tangible form, during use of the BOOK or within thirty (30)
minutes before or after its use.

This agreement is a binding "flip-wrap" agreement; you agree to
be bound by its terms by opening, reading, or flipping through
the BOOK. If you do not agree to these terms, close the BOOK,
place it back on a nearby shelf with the cover in a forward-facing
position, and forget all of its contents. You may find it difficult
to forget the contents of the BOOK. Do not be alarmed.

In other future related news Slashdot reveals that the DaVinci Institute has set its sights on creating a Museum of Future Inventions.

This will be a museum where they exhibit things that haven't been invented yet, like spray on clothing, instant sleep, genetically engineered Velcro sheep, and metric time. Pretty creative stuff. Some of the people they have involved are Dr. Paul MacCready, inventor of the Gossamer Albatross and Paul Dusenbery, Founder of the Space Science Institute.

I have joined The Sect of Homokaasu, but there is nothing to worry about my little web chums for they shall not steal my soul - only my time.

For this sect is all about rather addictive web-based games, including games titled Wanker which is not at all explicit and Fuck It which is not for the easily offended.

My current favourite is Gravity which I find oddly compelling and which has also been described as being very psychedelic... almost hypnotising.

Labels: Games

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Unfortunately unlike Obi-Wan we don't have the ability to influence the minds of people demanding to see our identification. There is however a chance for UK citizens to prevent the introduction of ID cards in the first place though. In a last gasp effort before the Queen's Speech on 23rd November the NO2ID group have organised a petition to allow UK residents to voice their opposition to the proposed scheme.

NO2ID are a non-aligned diverse group of people and organisations who stand against the Government's attempts to introduce intrusive, expensive and ineffective control of personal identity.

The British government seems dead set on pushing through this legislation so the petition is unlikely to dissuade them. However by voicing our concerns it is still possible to prevent it's implementation. The Home Office in October of this year published A Summary of Findings from the Consultation on Legislation on Identity Cards (file size 749kb) which broadly outlines their thinking on this issue.

In June 2004 I published my analysis of the British national identity card scheme titled Identity and ID cards, in which I argued that privacy concerns aside the proposal will be ineffective in it's aims.

Thanks to BoingBoing.

Labels: ID Cards

bar the inevitable lawsuits.

I'm surprised that Bush seems to have won the popular vote as well as the electoral vote as the early results had shown a small swing to the Democrats. Perhaps the conspiracy theorists are right and the Diebold electronic voting machines are easily manipulated to show a win for whichever candidate you want.

Well at least I can console myself with the knowledge that another four years of Bush will cause the US economy to be further fucked up resulting in a Great Depression for the 21st century. Not that I really want that to occur, but a weaker US economy could have benefits for the EU and Britain.

Bush or Kerry, what does it matter anyway?

The world is gripped by the US election but should they be? The US president is referred to as the 'leader of the free world' but I'd be surprised if anyone in the 'free world' outside of the US really believes that's the case.

Whoever is elected will hold sway over the foreign policy of America, but is there a clear difference between the broad policies of the candidates?

Iraq is a key area of difference but I believe the damage has already been done. With Kerry as US President can he really claw back the damage of the Bush administration or if Bush were to win can his government make the situation any worse than it is already.

But the key point is that neither candidate is prepared to put the fate of the World in front of that of America. International treaties such as the Kyoto Protocol are not seen as being in the best interest of America and so go unsupported and are stuck in the mire. Nationalism over Internationalism.

No major government of the world has made any significant movement to combat world poverty although there was an agreement made to further the debt relief of third-world nations. The opening up of international trade barriers would be a huge step to combatting third-world poverty but that is unlikely to happen either. Free trade is only for those with the economic clout to enforce it apparently.

The irony is that the long-term gains far outweigh the the short-term losses of such a move and as the prime economic force on the planet the US is the key to such a future.

There is much hatred and resentment for the Western world and America in particular due to the inequities of the status quo of the system of the world. By redressing the balance of world trade through creating a truly fair and free trade system without tariffs and subsidies increased prosperity can be brought to the third-world and with it an erosion of hatred. This is an oversimplification but the essence of the argument is there.

In addition creating a relatively poverty-free world with it creates new markets in which products and services from the West can be sold. This is a long term achievement that is viable if the political will was there.

This is rambling essay that has ended up in a different place than I though it would when I started it. Time to go check the latest exit polls, not that I believe it matters much.

Well the big day has finally come after the months of speculation and constant news coverage the people will finally choose who will be the guy that gets to sit in the Oval Office.

I shall be following the election as the results come in via CNN and the BBC.