Saturday, July 01, 2006

How to field dress a unicorn. 

• posted by Matt Wharton @ 8:40 PM  

They are a rare sight but when hunting deer you might just stumble across a unicorn.

Should you wish to bag such a beast then this handy guide will instruct you on the proper way to kill and field dress a unicorn. It's fully of hints such as:-

When you find a unicorn you've shot, don't get all excited and run over to touch. The first rule is that unicorns are tricky bitches and often fake death just to lure you within impaling range.

Careful! Fish and Game wardens won't be thrilled if they see you dragging a unicorn home so conceal your kill as best you can (flat-bed camoflauge pick-ups work best).

Don't drape your unicorn over the hood of your vehicle though - the heat from the motor will spoil the meat.
I'm sure you'll find this guide as indispensable as I have.

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